I'm Too Tired and Too Busy to Read with My Child

I'm too tired and too busy to read with my child. I get it. I have been there and felt that feeling as well. We work all day in and out of the home. We come home and have to prepare dinner, clean up from dinner, give baths, get children ready for bedtime and organize things for the morning rush of doing it all over again. Let's face it, we don't have time to do homework with the kids too. I caught myself saying, "They are in school all day, why do they need homework?" My girls and I would crash on the couch watching a last-minute show together and we would rush read on the way to school. Can you relate? Have you found yourself opening bookbags for the first time just before putting kids on the bus or driving them to school?

Don't give up and don't be too hard on yourself. I believe most people have been through this before, especially single parents. The first thing to know it is ok to miss reading with them sometimes or if they rush to do a page just before class starts. You are not a bad parent because you skip a homework assignment. We all have been there or understand and feel your struggles. Let me tell you, there is a way to balance it all and still accomplish all that you want to do.

Your child will need to set up a routine. If you and your child have a set routine and it is working, go with it. (Way to go by the way). I know we already established that we don't have extra time. If you do not have a routine and/or your routine is not working, then if you get a break on the weekend work with your child to establish a routine/schedule. Notice I said for them to set up a schedule, it is their homework. You are to be their helper. Avoid the battles. Your emotional and mental health depends on it. It is their responsibility. In most cases children are more willing to work on homework if they know they have support from a loving, caring, adult. If your child goes to a sitter after school, then let this be the time they work on their homework. Then be sure to take a very quick look to make sure it is accurate and to praise your child. (If your child struggles, you may have to sit with them for a little while and break it down to make it more understandable. Don't leave them drowning and gasping for air. Take the time, make the time for them. This is important.) Make this as fun and comfortable for you both as much as possible. It is quality time you are giving your child, not quantity. When the routine is established and your child knows what is expected and how to do the homework, then you can go finish the meal, clean, or whatever else needs doing. Stay within earshot in case he/she calls you back for more assistance. Don't get frustrated if you are in the middle of something and he/she calls for you. Once they gain confidence in their own ability, they will rely on you less and less.

If your child is in second grade and up, you do not need to sit with them to do their homework. If they have a question, then they can ask while you are working on dinner. Have you ever sat down at the table to peel your potatoes, or chop up vegetables? This is a great time to work with your child or to just sit and chat about their day. Kindergarten and first grade require reading and word work. I promise this should not take more than 15 minutes. Anything longer than that is a waste of time. If your child is just beginning to learn to read then read the book to them first and then let them read it. Don't stop them if they make a mistake. Cheer, clap your hands, tell them they are amazing. The best way to teach your child to read is to help them see themselves as a reader.

Getting homework done even when there is no time for it.

• Child/parent sets up a timed routine that is flexible for sports and other extracurriculars.

• Kinder and First Grade Parents read the book to them first and then they read to parent. Flash sight word cards (no more than 10 at a time. If they can recall the word put a check on the back. After 3 checks put word aside and refer back to it later. Add another word up to 10 words. Don't forget to return to words they have mastered from time to time.

• Second and up, Students take out their homework. Parents make sure your child understands their assignment and walk away. Assure the child that you will come if they have a question, and you will be back to check the work. If it is reading homework (It should be reading every night), then they can read it out loud as you do other things. Allow them opportunities to read silently. Always ask one or two questions, such as, ask them to retail the story including beginning, middle, and end. Another question is: Is this fiction or real and how do you know? They need to show how they know the answer by showing you in the book.

• Check homework and put it in bookbag. Get bookbag ready for the next day making sure everything is ready to go. Place water bottle by the sink to refill in the morning. Keep bookbag where it will not be forgotten.

• When supper is ready, everyone sits at the table and eats together. No cell phones, tv, devices of any kind. Use this time to talk to one another, bond, share feelings, happy moments. When meal is complete, children take their plates to the kitchen.

• Follow your other bedtime routines. If you and your child enjoy a bedtime story, please read them a short story or chapter. This time goes so quickly, and the memories are worth it.

• Throw in a load of laundry from the day. Go rinse dishes and put in dishwasher or wash by hand while child does something fun or helps you with dishes.

• Prepare their clothes for the next day unless you are already organized and have it prepared for the week. (If so, you are amazing)

• Put the children to bed, kiss them good night and walk out of the bedroom door. (I know this is crazy, very few children can go to sleep alone. This will be on a future blog. (How to get my child to sleep alone.) It is ok to go lay down with your little munchkin. Soon they will be old enough to go to sleep on their own. However, you may need to snuggle with them sometimes in the future and that's ok.

• Put laundry in the dryer. If you fold it right away it will be less wrinkled. Put them away. I know this is the worst part. Go make a cup of tea or another beverage and sit for a while, you deserve it.

Remember reading with your child is important and so is your time. The few minutes you use reading to your child or letting them read to you will be memories that will last a lifetime. The more you read to them while they are young, the less time you will need to help them when they are older. I promise each moment will make a difference for your child's skills in reading and will build a special bond between you. If you have more than one child, try to let them take turns reading to you. Older ones can read to younger ones. If you're having to attend ball games, piano, dance, or other activities through the week, your younger children can read to you while the game gets started. Skip a few nights and catch up on the nights you do not have to go to practices. There is a way.

Another future blog will be crockpot and one dish meals. The easier the better. I will be continuing to provide tips and tricks to help your child learn to read. Keep checking back for more.